Conflict in life is as normal as breathing – it’s inevitable, and you can’t help it!

That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, though. In fact, it is through conflicts – both small and large – that people learn how to manage their emotions well with others. For children, conflicts are even more common, ranging from fights with friends over who gets to play with their toy first, to tantrums over parents not giving them their favourite sweets for dinner. We can’t blame them, because they’re simply too young to know how to resolve their agitated emotions – which is why this skill is extremely important.

Resolving every conflict as a parent may be an easy way out, but it’s not the best long-term solution. You need to make sure your child is in control of their emotions, while simultaneously knowing where they are right or wrong – without your help. Here’s how you can teach this skill:

Tell Them It’s Not The End Of The World

For adults, a little disagreement with someone is almost second-nature. But for children, it becomes a matter of life and death – so much so, that they think the entire relationship has been burned to flames!

As a parent, you need to remind your child that a small conflict does not damage a relationship, and that there is always a chance to make things right. Hear them out, and urge them to be willing to make amends, so that the relationship becomes stronger than ever. If they happen to be the cause of the conflict, then let them know that their actions were disapproved, but not them as a person. Shifting the blame from the person to their actions makes the conflict a lot easier to solve.

Teach Them To Control Their Emotions

Conflicts in children almost always arise because of an exaggeration of emotions – frustration, anger, hatred, and the like. Teaching them to be in control of them is a great first step to resolving such conflicts.

The first step of taking control is to tell children that outbursts of intimidation or anger never work, and so are unnecessary. Next, teach them ways to manage their outbursts independently; that way, they won’t have to rely on you to come out of their agitated mental state. The simpler the method, the better. It varies from one child to the next, so keep your options open: breathing exercises, counting to ten, and stepping out of a situation are common examples.

Encourage Them To Recognise Their Emotions

This is the most important step that comes after controlling emotions – finding out why those emotions came in the first place.

This is where you have to let your child take the reins. Hear them out entirely; look at the situation from their lens, and then notice where something went wrong. Most probably, your child won’t notice it themselves (even if its their own fault) and that’s okay – in that case, direct them to that correct conclusion by vocalising their thoughts. Tell them the specific emotion they felt, and why did they feel it. That way, their mind and conscience  will be a lot more clearer, and they will be more willing to come to a solution.

Encourage Fairness

Even if your child has decided why a conflict came about, they might not offer the best solution out there. So while you’re teaching your child ways to resolve a conflict, be sure to teach them how to resolve it.

For example, if a problem arose because they didn’t share their colour pencils, then teach them how sharing is a good habit. Promoting good behaviour with words of encouragement allows children to feel good while adopting fair habits; that way, they don’t treat it as some task their parent is forcing them to do.

Model The Same Behaviour You Preach

Children are impressionable, and adopt whatever they learn from home. As a parent, you should take advantage of this, and act on what you preach.

Encourage traits like fairness, positive thoughts, and responsibility in the household. Perhaps the best way to do that is by role-playing. Play out imaginary conflict scenarios with your children at home, and teach them how to react appropriately. This way, they will be able to learn all that has been previous outlined above – except with a bit more fun!


Since conflict is such a concrete part of growing up, it is up to the parents and teachers that such conflicts arise and resolve in a healthy environment. Good nurseries in JLT like Oakfield have qualified practitioners who take good care of children, and make sure that their happy and accomplished in every step of the way. In an environment as supportive as Oakfield’s, you’ll be sure your child will build strong relationships, even after conflicts.

The process of your child learning how to manage their emotions, and come to a resolution for their conflict at hand is a long one – but it must be known that it’s not impossible.