“Just one more bite.” The Long term Damage of Forcing Kids to Eat

Posted March 27, 2024

As adults, we are constantly navigating the delicate balance of ensuring our children receive proper nutrition while fostering positive attitudes towards food. Moreover, parents worry that once the child is in school and out from under their watchful eye that their child may be left to go hungry, without the parent support.

As an educator with over 20 years’ experience in schools both in the UK and here in the UAE, I have observed marked differences in the parental approaches toward meal times and eating. These can be cultural or inherited behaviours. For example, some cultures believe that finishing everything on one’s plate is seen as a sign of respect or gratitude, leading parents to encourage or enforce this behaviour.

Moreover, some cultures place a huge emphasis on having children eat everything on the plate / lunchbox and they show their love through food, even asking teachers to force feed their child.

Of course this is absolutely against our approach: As educators it is essential that we understand the harm this can do, and we must not let our own cultural associations become a barrier or give opposite messages than parents (to children).

Additionally, here in the UAE many families have helpers and nannies who often don’t understand the damage overfeeding can do, and they strive to please their employer first and foremost by overfilling lunch boxes and telling teachers ‘the child must eat everything’.

Sometimes parents may feel pressure from external sources, such as paediatricians or well-meaning relatives, to ensure their child eats enough, leading to heightened anxiety around meal times.

But let’s face it, all parents are well meaning and for some it is their first experience of ‘letting their child out into the big wide world without them’. And while these intentions do stem from genuine concerns about their child’s health and nutrition, it’s essential to understand the potential repercussions and explore more constructive approaches to feeding our children.

At Oakfield ELC DMCC we have a fixed 45 minute window in the morning for breakfast and at noon for lunch. During this time, young children will be given gentle encouragement to help them toward independent eating (some children have never fed themselves even at 3 years old!)

Once the meal time is over, the food will be packed away and either sent home or served again at the next mealtime. We cannot spoon feed a child (teachers have more than 1 mouth to attend to) nor can we extend the mealtime to suit 1 or 2 slow eaters.

Parents must remember why their child comes to school:

To learn social skills, manners and good behaviour
To learn to manage their self – independence and school readiness
To learn and develop while having fun with friends
To develop good life habits such as teeth brushing, sharing, toilet skills, resilience, good eating habits and how to lead a healthy life.

As professionals we understand the fine balance between encouragement and independence. NO child would be left to go hungry or be ignored. However, research tells us that children need to learn how to ‘listen to their own body’ and ‘assess their own appetite and hunger levels,’ otherwise the consequences can have long lasting negative impact on a child for life. Read on to find out WHY NURTURING HEALTHY EATING HABITS IS BEST AND FORCE FEEDING IS A RECEIPE FOR DISASTER……

Ignoring Natural Hunger Cues: Insisting that a child finishes everything on their plate can override their natural hunger cues. Children are often quite good at regulating their food intake based on their internal signals of hunger and fullness. By forcing them to eat everything, we teach them to ignore these cues, which can contribute to overeating or undereating habits later in life.

Offering children portion sizes that are too large and pressuring children to eat more than they desire are important factors in the development of overeating and overweight in later life.

Potential for Disordered Eating Patterns: Overemphasizing the need to eat everything can contribute to the development of disordered eating patterns. Children may develop anxiety or guilt around food, leading to restrictive eating habits, binge eating, or other unhealthy behaviors later in life. This is particularly concerning in a society where body image issues and eating disorders are increasingly prevalent.

Negative Food Associations: Overemphasizing the need to eat everything can create negative associations with certain foods. This can lead to long-term aversions to certain foods, making it difficult for them to develop a varied and balanced diet as they grow older.

Lack of Autonomy and Control: Constant pressure to eat everything can strip children of their autonomy and control over their own bodies. It sends a message that external rules and expectations about food are more important than their own feelings of hunger, fullness, and food preferences.

Instead we suggest these tips to guide parents:

Serve Balanced Meals: Offer a variety of nutritious foods at each meal, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
Model Healthy Eating Habits: Children learn by example, so model positive eating behaviors by enjoying a balanced diet yourself.
Create a Positive Mealtime Environment: Make mealtimes enjoyable and stress-free by engaging in pleasant conversation and avoiding pressure to eat.
Encourage Independence: Allow children to self-regulate their food intake and make choices about what and how much to eat.
Offer Choice: Provide options and involve children in meal planning and preparation to foster a sense of autonomy and ownership.
Be Patient and Persistent: Introducing new foods may take time, so be patient and continue offering a variety of options without pressure.

In conclusion, in our efforts to nourish and nurture our children, it’s crucial to recognize the potential harm of force feeding and food pressure. By fostering a positive and healthy relationship with food from a young age, parents can set their children up for a lifetime of good nutrition and well-being. Parents should strive to create a positive food environment that emphasizes autonomy, variety, and enjoyment rather than strict rules about finishing every last bite. By doing so, we can help our children develop a healthy relationship with food that serves them well throughout their lives.