If your toddler has already crossed the 12-month mark, then they might have started wanting to do things on their own. Whether it’s eating, crossing the road, or even dragging the grocery cart – your child will someday find every reason to be independent.

Although this can be exhausting for some mothers or fathers – it’s actually not a bad thing. Acting independently boosts their self-esteem, confidence and sense of identity. They develop key skills like problem-solving, success-oriented thinking and emotional stability. Luke Touhill, a consultant for the Early Childhood Australia initiative, says: “Doing something for yourself produces a powerful sense of achievement and success.”

So who says promoting a bit of controlled independence would be bad? Here are some smart ways you can ease your toddler into independence without them losing themselves in it:

 

Don’t do things you know your toddler can do themselves

As risky as that sounds, it actually works. Whether it’s fastening their buttons, pulling on their socks, or making their beds, let them handle it themselves. Give them as much time as they need to complete their own task. Don’t interfere until you see them visibly getting frustrated, or taking far too long. In such a case, ask them first if they need help, or walk them through the steps.

Offer choices

When their getting dressed, wanting breakfast, or picking a toy to take to the park – let your child decide for themselves. You can either let them pick from two or three options, or give them all the reins. Tolerate their choice; it will empower them, and reinforce the fact that they have made a good decision. This will further push them to make bigger decisions more easily.

 

Toddler-proof the house

Independence starts from the home, therefore you need to make sure your child’s environment promotes independent behaviour instead of hampering it. Keep fragile things like glass vases or dishes away from the child’s range. An extra precaution includes carpeting the floors so that your child does not hurt themselves while they explore.

 

Keep on encouraging

This is perhaps one of the most major points to note: your child won’t attain independence until they believe in themselves. Therefore always encourage them to do more or new things themselves. Whether it’s jumping in the pool, or going up a slide, let them do it on their own. Be there for them if they hesitate, but don’t forget to cheer them on. Say “no” the least; it discourages the child severely, weakening their trust in their choice. Interfere only when something risky happens – otherwise, let your child take the lead when they can.

Make ‘em laugh!

We need to be realistic – no child is going to step into independence in a flash. There will be hesitance, failures, and one too many tantrums. Whenever you feel a similar negative situation arise, immediately divert the mood – make them giggle!

Dr Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University and the author of  Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, says, “[Laughter] diminishes the number of stress hormones in your body and increases good neurotransmitters like oxytocin”.

It’s not necessary that parents have to do all the work – teachers can help too! Nurseries in JVC (Jumeirah Village Circle) like Oakfield Early Learning Centre have skilled practitioners who follow their main aim: to ensure every child’s healthy and positive growth. Oakfield’s curriculum includes teaching children everyday tasks like how to tidy up their own mess, how to stay clean – even how to prepare fruits to eat!

The main factor that decides whether a child wants to be independent or not is their confidence. So never put your child down for a choice they make. You can teach them otherwise if the consequence had been negative; otherwise, your role in this has to be that of a motivator.